Paul Blart : What Did I Tell You!!!

Well, well, well it looks like the first example of the genius of myself has appeared and it took less then a week. If you recall in my opening post about the death of cinema and the evil that is modern Hollywood I postulated the theory that they would already be working on a sequel to 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop". Well it has happened, potentially, because according to the LA Times there is a chance for a sequel. I would say that I am surprised but I am not this is just typical of Hollywood.

Hilary Duff to replace Faye Dunaway??

In yet another example of the idiocy that runs rampant in Hollywood. Hilary Duff has been picked to star in what they are claiming is not a remake but a retelling of the story of "Bonnie and Clyde". If you ask me that still sounds like a remake because, now I know this may be hard for some of you mouth breathers to grasp, it has been made before! When a story has been told and then is retold with new actors playing the role of the old actors that is a remake!! When asked her thoughts on the new film Faye Dunaway reportedly said "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" I love it sharpen up those nails ladies!!

The original "Bonnie and Clyde" was made in 1967 and was nominated for 10 Oscars while winning 2 of them. I am not even going to bother telling you the name of the director of this new version or even who Clyde is because they really just do not matter. I really need to start writing my reboot of the "Sound of Music" I think I am going to set it in Iraq and I will make American soldiers the bad guys. What do you think? Sounds like a win to me!!

The A Team is Go!!

According to Reuters "A Plan Has Come Together" A big screen version of the A Team is set to hit screens in June 2010. Now, while this just seems to be more of the same crap with Hollywood , there is some potential for this to be a fun movie but I doubt it and these are just a few of my reasons. The first being Fox signed Joe Carnahan (Smokin Aces, Narc) to direct now while "Narc" was a fine movie "Smokin Aces" was a big pile of poo!! (In fact on my pile of poo meter I think I would give "Smokin Aces" two big piles of Poo!! It wasn't as bad as "Shoot 'em Up" but that is best left for another day)

They have exchanged Vietnam for the Middle East and are updating everything so we all know how will that usually works. I am just waiting for the announcement that one of the Judd Apatow guys is going to be Hannibal Smith and maybe Neil Patrick Harris as Faceman. What do you guys think the casting could be amazing.

I just do not have high hopes for this I am predicting a rehash of the same tired old jokes and the same tired old stunts but perhaps with some 'parkour' thrown in.

The Simpsons = Epic Fail

There was a time when I was young. When I used to look forward to the Simpsons. It seemed fresh and funny and sometimes clever. So it was with some anticipation that I sat down to watch the latest episode on HULU. (If you haven't tried www.hulu.com please do you will not regret it.) But the glories of Hulu aside and believe me I shall write about it one day. The latest episode of the Simpsons was really a pointless rip off of the classic Peter Jackson film "Heavenly Creatures" . This film was made in 1994 and is really an amazing film. There was nothing amazing or groundbreaking about this Simpsons episode in fact it failed utterly as both a homage and as a comedic episode. At what point did it seem like a good idea to rip off a film that was 15 years old and was loosely based on a tragic true story. Since when does this become fodder for comedy? It really seems to me that the Simpsons has jumped the shark and is now following the spiral toward the crap heap. I am just waiting for them to adopt a new cute kid. As it is Simpsons I bid you good day sir!!

"Worst Fail Ever"

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Have you ever truly asked yourself during times of trouble "What would so and so do in this situation"? Well I think the time has come for a new person to ask this question about and that person is Thomas Magnum.

You have to ask yourself what the hell is going in in the world when the number 1 movie in the country is Kevin James as Paul Blart : Mall Cop. It's not that I dislike Kevin James I found him actually pretty funny in "King of Queens" but my tastes run more toward Patton Oswalt and his style of humor. I might also add that this is the second week in a row at number 1. Now what does this mean is it a sign that movies and the movie making industry are just putting out big steaming piles and the average American movie goer has no taste? I think it is. Are things really that bad that we need this kind of entertainment? Come on people there has to be something else to do. When you spend money on movies like this it only encourages them and now I would be willing to bet that a sequal is in the works. In fact, I bet we are witnessing the birth of a new "Hey Vern" franchise and it is all your fault. If anyone has a reasonable response to my accusation please feel free to step up to the plate.