Top 5 Worst Remakes!!

I wrote an article for my friend Christophers Blog on my Top 5 Worst Film remakes and I wanted to post it hear as well. I intend to write more on here as I move toward a set schedule of some sort.

Hello my few and I hope loyal readers. I am sorry that I was not able to make an appearance on CT’s blog the last couple of weeks but the real world got in the way. That is all taken care of and I am now back to ask you this question.

When it comes to film, why make a remake? As we move further into the 2000’s it seems that Hollywood is having a harder and harder time coming up with new and fresh ideas. Oh sure there are always a few new films that surprise us but even those it seems come from the world of graphic novels and literature and not just appearing on screen for the first time fresh as if they have been taken from their mothers womb.

So, why make a remake? Is it all about the money? Well certainly a large part of it is. But, that can’t be the only reason. Perhaps, the power behind the remake had such a deep respect and love for the original material that they wanted to make a remake as a tribute to the original. I can understand that desire but I wonder if the love for the source material is such that they are unable to look back with a clear eye at it.

Maybe they think the original missed something and that they can retell the story making it that much better. That their vision will be clearer and more nuanced then the original. But sadly more often then not the remake misses the mark and what ends up on screen is either nothing like the original, is insulting to the fans of the original, or so much like the original that it makes you wonder why they bothered at all. Why not just re-release the original?

I think that my top five worst remakes are a pretty simple list and my reasons run from lack of money made to just being a bad film or I felt that it didn’t really need to be remade in the first place.

1. Psycho (1998) A shot for shot color remake by Gus Van Sant of one of the best films of all time let alone one of the best black and white films of all time. A remake that didn’t need to be made.
2. Planet of the Apes (2001) this had some potential but it was just not a good film. There really wasn’t anything likeable about it.
3. Transformers (2007) this film had several problems for me. The biggest one being Michael Bay with him directing the only way I would have wanted to see this film less was if it starred Tom Cruise. I mean come on roller bladeing robots?
4. The Manchurian Candidate (2004) This was directed by Jonathan Demme and starring Denzel Washington, both of whom I like, but it just didn’t work for me. The original in 1962 is just an amazing film that really keeps you glued to your seat and the ending will blow your mind.
5. The Nutty Professor (1996) This travesty of a remake of the classic Jerry Lewis film was just sad for me to watch as Eddie Murphy attempted to fill Lewis’ shoes and failed miserably.

Well that is my top 5 or bottom 5 if you would rather. What are your thoughts agree or disagree please tell me why?

*Incidentally, a prequel to the miserable Planet of the Apes remake is planned.

"Arrested Development" the movie is a go!!

Well, well, well, in big news for fans of smart television EOnline is reporting that Michael Cera has signed on the the long rumored "Arrested Development" movie. I am kind of ambivalent about this news. It looks like the whole cast is returning and that is a plus. Also according to EOnline Mitchell Hurwitz is writing the script and will also be directing that is a plus as well.

I wonder though, as much as I loved the show, is a movie really needed for this? But, if, I am going to ask that question then I have to ask, is a movie ever really needed, I do not think so. It just seems like some stories are deeper then others and the more shallower stories are what gets turned into films.

I am not saying that television is better then movies because both mediums are primarily full of crap. I also think that since the mediums are so driven by the consumer they tend to highlight the worst aspect of people. But that is a little deep for this particular blog.

The television fan inside of me is just going "WHEE!!" I can't wait for this movie and I hope I am as happy about it when I am sitting in the theatre on opening night. I mean there is always money in the Banana Stand.

Friday bits-n-pieces

It has been a pretty slow week entertainment wise at least what I find interesting anyway but I thought I would mention some things that are coming in the future that might be fun to watch or talk about or just to keep an eye on.

The first thing being according to EW it seems that Jonah Hill (Superbad) and Max Winkler (Fonzies son) have written a script that was just sold to Universal Pictures for seven figures. Now the cost in and of itself is not a surprise to me but some other bloggers feel that everything happened so fast that there is no way that the script has even been read by anyone. Irregardless of that it looks like Jonah and Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) are slated to star in it and negotions are being conducted with Akiva Schaffer (Lonely Island) to direct. I see potential with this but really not much else right now. So I am marking it as somthing for you to keep an eye on.

The second thing is really more of an I told you so because it looks like Kevin James (Paul Blart: Mall Cop) has just signed with MGM to star in "The Zookeeper" the story centers on a lonely zookeeper who decides to leave his job because he can’t meet a girl, leading to an intervention by the zoo’s animals. What the heck? Why is this even being made? Is it off the strength of Paul Blart? Because I just can't imagine even reading a treatment of that script and saying hey here is a good idea lets throw millions of dollars at it. What a waste of celluoid.

And lastly back on the useless remake tip John Travolta is already filming a remake of
"The Taking of Pelham One Two Three"



Now this is a classic movie based on a book by Morton Freedgood. Now this will be the third remake of this film. WHY? WHY? WHY? Is it that hard to come up with new ideas? It does not surprise me that this has been made because obviously creativity is almost dead in Hollywood.

Seth Rogan VS Kevin James

In an almost mind blowing act of coincidence there is another movie about a mall cop scheduled to be released. I am speaking of the Seth Rogan vehicle "Observe and Protect" (it appears that the title has been changed from "Observe and Report) So perhaps we are witness to a new genre being born. The genre of the mall cop, perhaps I was to quick to dismiss the power of Paul Blart (The Original Mall Cop) because after seeing the trailer that I am posting below. (Redband may be NSFW) you will be enlightened.



I actually enjoyed this preview but I will confess to being a Rogan fan from back when he was on the truly inspired "Freaks and Geeks" see it if you get a chance. So I am a little biased to begin with but I felt that I watched the trailer with an open mind and I was pleasantly surprised. So let me know what you think. Though I wonder does Ray Liotta consider this a step down from "Good Fellas" or a step up from "Wild Hogs".

The A Team is Go!!

According to Reuters "A Plan Has Come Together" A big screen version of the A Team is set to hit screens in June 2010. Now, while this just seems to be more of the same crap with Hollywood , there is some potential for this to be a fun movie but I doubt it and these are just a few of my reasons. The first being Fox signed Joe Carnahan (Smokin Aces, Narc) to direct now while "Narc" was a fine movie "Smokin Aces" was a big pile of poo!! (In fact on my pile of poo meter I think I would give "Smokin Aces" two big piles of Poo!! It wasn't as bad as "Shoot 'em Up" but that is best left for another day)

They have exchanged Vietnam for the Middle East and are updating everything so we all know how will that usually works. I am just waiting for the announcement that one of the Judd Apatow guys is going to be Hannibal Smith and maybe Neil Patrick Harris as Faceman. What do you guys think the casting could be amazing.

I just do not have high hopes for this I am predicting a rehash of the same tired old jokes and the same tired old stunts but perhaps with some 'parkour' thrown in.